Fantasy Fix: Tricks 'n' treats and the waiver wire blues

This is what the 2013 Fantasy Football season has turned into: The Fantasy studs are duds and the forgotten zeroes are heroes. Hey, I know Peyton Manning and Calvin Johnson are dominating, but owning Tom Brady, Ray Rice, C.J. Spiller and Julio Jones is like Charlie Brown reaching into his trick or treat bag, “I got a rock.”

With  the Cardinals, Broncos, Lions, Giants, Jaguars and 49ers on byes this week, we will have to ring the right doorbells for the tastiest treats for Week 9 of the Fantasy Football season. 

Put on your Halloween costume and let’s play the waiver wire blues and run down the Fantasy Frankensteins widely available position-by-position that could either save your season or make it one hell of a nightmare.

Quarterback

Jake Locker, Tennessee Titans: Locker has one game this season with fewer than 18 Fantasy points and he’s been above 20 Fantasy points in each of his past three starts. Peyton Manning and Matt Stafford owners grab him now like handful a fun-size Snickers. Fantasy projection: 17 points

Running Back

Mike Tolbert, Carolina Panthers: Tolbert is the best option out there this week unless your league has not caught onto Andre Ellington yet. Tolbert has four TDs in his last three games, and gets a Falcons team that can be run on. Pick up this little bowling bowl up now and roll him towards your competition. Damn, gutter ball. Sad face. Fantasy projection: 7.50 points

Wide Receiver

Marvin Jones, Cincinnati Bengals: Jones has six touchdowns in the past three games with at least 57 receiving yards in each game. Jones went off last week for 30+ fantasy points. If that happens again, I’ll eat my turban. It’s made of cotton candy. Fantasy projection: 9.50 points

Tight End

Tim Wright, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Wright is now the No.2 target on the Bucs with Mike Williams out. Wright scored his first NFL touchdown in Week 8 against Carolina and now has at least nine Fantasy points in two of his past three games. My luck with tight ends has been bad. I’d pick up a machete weilding hitchhiker in a hockey mask if he could give me 7 points. Fantasy projection: 7 points

Defense/Special Teams

New Orleans Saints vs. NYJ: The Saints are currently averaging over 8 fantasy points a week, have 24 sacks, 12 forced fumbles and nine interceptions. This week they get the J-E-T-S whose offensive strategy is: give up sack, throw pick, butt fumble, lose. Fantasy projection: 12 points

Kicker

Nick Folk, New York Jets: The Jets struggle in the red zone, that’s good news for kickers. Nick Folk is a kicker. I hate kickers as much as I hate that guy that passes out toothbrushes on Halloween. Quick, egg his house! Fantasy projection: 11 points

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