Fantasy Fix: Monday morning reign - 5 up/ 5 down
Fantasy Football, you are a cruel mistress. And don’t give me those “any given Sunday” excuses either. That movie was terrible and there are studs turning into duds right before our eyes.
Over a fifth of this weeks top 25 fantasy scorers are owned in less than 50% of leagues. A fifth is also what you will need after you check your Fantasy Football scores today.
Crack that bottle of Crown and call in sick, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
Here be the 5 Up/5 Down for Week 4 in our fantasy universe:
Five Up
1. Sunday's Crown Royal Reign On Player of the Day: Peyton Manning, 29.08 fantasy points: Here’s an update on the Manning brothers. Peyton threw for 327 yards with four touchdowns and no interceptions. He’s on pace to throw 64 touchdowns this year. Eli Manning is on pace to throw 64 interceptions. Cooper Manning is on pace to eat 64 donut holes and just scored a touchdown on Tecmo Bowl. Which one would you rather be?
2. Phillip Rivers, 27.04 points: The Rivers resurgence continues as he completed 35-of-42 passes for 401 yards, three touchdowns and an interception. If you didn’t start Phil, stop worrying about how things might have been. We’re rolling, rolling, rolling on the Rivers.
3. Tony Gonzalez, 26.90 points: Tony went gonzo on the Patriots with 149 yards and two TDs. Somewhere the 84-year-old Gonzalez must have a secret of Dorian Gray-like proportions.
4. Adrian Peterson, 26.00 points: AP had 23 carries for 140 yards and two touchdowns. Guess who’s back? If you said Adrian Peterson you would be right since this blurb is about him.
5. Alex Smith, 25.22 points: Smith completed 24-of-41 passes for a season-high 288 yards with three touchdowns and two interceptions. He did this against the Giants defense. Tim Tebow could make the G-men look bad. What a mess.
Five Down
5. Maurice Jones-Drew, 2.80 fantasy points: Jones-Drew managed 23 yards on 13 carries and caught a five-yard pass. If the Jaguars lose and no one actually sees it, does it count? Asking for a friend who drafted MJD.
4. Vincent Jackson, 2.70 points: Jackson had two catches for 27 yards. This Buccaneer team is about to have mutiny. Captain Jack Sparrow couldn't win with this bunch of scallywags.
3. Ray Rice, 1.70 points: Rice rushed five times for 17 yards and didn't catch a pass as he returned from a hip injury. It was a roll of the dice if you started him. Sorry, you came up snake eyes.
2. Kyle Rudolph, 0.60 points: Rudolph was held to just two catches for six yards. The big tight end is owned in 80% of leagues. Pretty sure I told you to draft Donner or Blitzen.
1. Stevie Johnson, -0.10 points: Johnson was held to one catch for negative-one yards. That is one less yard than Elbert Dubenion. Duby is 80, has been retired for 45 years and is currently available in 100% of leagues.
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